violent mood swings
muscle and joint pain
irregular and ridiculously long, heavy periods
frequent canker sores
I know this doesn't necessarily paint a pretty picture of me, but the bottom line is, I haven't been feeling well, and all I get from doctors is: "You have IBS, eat more fiber" or "you have polycystic ovarian syndrome, shove some birth control down your throat and that should do the trick"!
People are supposed to take charge of their own health; I get that. But if I google my symptoms, or try to figure out on my own what is wrong with me, I get FLOODED with so much information, that it becomes a painstakingly overwhelming, I just want to give up and have some tiramisu kind'a effort.
I am learning that there is no one solution that will work here. I have to stop, focus and listen. This is a lifestyle kind'a thing. It will take the right doctor, some nutritional supplements, EXERCISE, water (tons of it), OPTIMISM, meditation and PRAYER.
And I must allow myself to realize that trauma can and most times will affect a person's health. And whatever ways I choose to deal with my mother's death, I am learning that its not wrong, or innapropriate, or bad of me to feel and express the pain. The key here, is not to inflict more pain on myself while trying to deal with it. It is counterproductive, and it will take some work.
Her strength and determination still live in me, and I know I will succeed. No mountain was ever to high for her to climb, and the same goes for me.
Thanks for reading!